


Do It For Him

by BlackWingBecci



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5257289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWingBecci/pseuds/BlackWingBecci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was regularly told that it wasn’t fair for him to be so vocally against marriage though, and Enjolras hated why. It wasn’t because the people were so for marriage themselves, it wasn’t because they disagreed with him, and it wasn’t even because they thought there were better ways of reaching that change.</p><p>It was because of Grantaire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do It For Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myownremedy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownremedy/gifts).



Enjolras wasn’t exactly opposed to marriage as a concept. He had no problem with the idea of two people wanting to commit their lives together like that. What he did have a problem with was the importance placed on marriage. The fact that it was held as some all-important life event that everyone should reach to achieve, that society set as some life-fulfilling goal that you had to reach to be truly happy. And above all he had a problem with how – despite new laws – marriage was still very inaccessible for LGBT+ people and polyamorous people.

And he was very vocal about these opinions.

To be fair, he was very vocal about all of his opinions. But society’s ridiculous stance on marriage was one that he was particularly vocal about.

He didn’t think he was overly mean about it. He knew he could sometimes offend people when he was vocal about his opinions – hell, sometimes his intent was to offend certain people when he spoke up. But he didn’t try to offend anyone over the marriage thing. He knew it was important to individual people, he knew it could be wonderful and life-fulfilling when people chose individually to enter into it.

He was only supportive and congratulatory when Marius proposed to Cosette and she accepted. Yes, he asked Marius to not discuss it overly when they were working on projects – like he asked all of the members of their group to leave personal thing at the door to a certain extent – because the work they were doing was important deserved full attention. But he sat back and listened when Marius went on and on about Cosette’s virtues and the wonders of being engaged to her when they were all just hanging out. He could understand Courfeyrac’s dream to one day get married, letting his friend go on and on about how great it would be. Enjolras even sympathised with Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta’s issues with their desire to all marry each other but not being allowed to.

That was the reason he had a problem though. Because his friends – his friends who he loves dearly – wanted to get married, but they weren’t allowed just because there was 3 of them and not only 2. It was wrong. And Enjolras was going to be vocal about that as much as possible until the problem was fixed and he was attending their wedding.

He was regularly told that it wasn’t fair for him to be so vocally against marriage though, and Enjolras hated why. It wasn’t because the people were so for marriage themselves, it wasn’t because they disagreed with him, and it wasn’t even because they thought there were better ways of reaching that change.

It was because of Grantaire.

From the day he and Grantaire officially started their relationship, people seemed to expect Enjolras to bow and break, to change who he was, to be a more acceptable partner. They told him he needed to work less, they told him he needed to drink more and be more openly affectionate, and they told him he needed to stop talking against marriage. Because it wasn’t fair to Grantaire. It wasn’t fair if Enjolras couldn’t spend as much time as possible with him, it wasn’t fair if Enjolras wouldn’t show how he felt in public, and it wasn’t fair for Enjolras to so publicly denounce marriage when there was a chance Grantaire wanted to get married.

It was ridiculous. Enjolras knew Grantaire – he knew him better than those idiots did. Enjolras knew that Grantaire had no problem arguing with Enjolras and stating his own opinion even if it went against Enjolras’. Why would that be different for relationship issues?

But as the weeks and then months and then years passed, Enjolras began to notice it was different. Grantaire never complained about how Enjolras divided his time, though Joly and Bossuet very often told him how he really wasn’t making enough time for Grantaire. Grantaire never complained about how affectionate Enjolras was in public, with the most being exchanged between them being holding hands or a quick peck. However Prouvaire and Courfeyrac always tried to encourage him to be more open about their love because why would he not want to show it off like that?

And Grantaire never said anything about wanting to get married. But Feuilly told him about how Grantaire had always preferred doing their shoots for weddings above everything else, and Marius and Cosette hinted at how excited Grantaire was over their wedding, and Musichetta told him how Grantaire had always spoke about getting married as a dream when they were younger.

Enjolras panicked.

He put forward the impression that he was confident in every aspect of his life. He was confident in his activism and his believes, being able to face down anybody who disagreed with him and throwing himself into the open with them, and people saw that and assumed he was a confidant person entirely. But he wasn’t. He worried over everything else. He worried over how he dressed, he worried over his work, he worried about his friends and whether he was good enough for them or not. And he worried like hell about Grantaire and their relationship.

So even though he had been sure he knew Grantaire, when people suggested he really didn’t, it was easy for him to doubt himself. He worried whether Grantaire wanted to spend more time with him, he worried over whether Grantaire wanted to be more affectionate, and he worried whether Grantaire did want to get married. Enjolras worried whether he was good enough for Grantaire.

He didn’t want to change who he was, because he spouted his belief that changing yourself for someone else wasn’t right every chance he got. But he didn’t want to lose Grantaire even more. He couldn’t lose his support and love, and so trying to change himself came surprisingly easy to Enjolras.

-x-

He tried to make more time for Grantaire, sacrificing other things in the process to allow it.

“Let’s go to the museum tomorrow.” He said one night as they laid in bed together, Enjolras resting his head on Grantaire’s chest with the other man’s fingers stroking though his hair. It would have been so easy in that moment to pretend he wasn’t doubting, to ignore what everyone else told him and believe what he and Grantaire had then was enough. But the worry that not changing would result in him loosing moments like this was too much to ignore.

Grantaire’s fingers halted in their stroking. “I thought you and Courfeyrac had that interview with the newspaper tomorrow?” He asked hesitantly, though his fingers resumed their stroking.

“I don’t need to go. Courfeyrac can handle it.” Enjolras needed to go. Courfeyrac could handle it, Courfeyrac was brilliant. Enjolras would panic though. He would worry if he couldn’t be there to see Courfeyrac being brilliant at talking about their group and their activism. But he didn’t really need to be there for the interview. It would still happen and go well without him, it would just be for his peace of mind.

“Oh, alright then. Let’s go to the museum.” Grantaire agreed, and he sounded so pleasantly surprised that Enjolras’ chest filled with warmth. Maybe making a few sacrifices was okay, if it meant he got to here Grantaire sound so happy. And surely him being happy meant it was the right decision.

-x-

The interview did go well. In fact, it went fantastically. Courfeyrac did his job perfectly, just like Enjolras knew he would, and Enjolras and Grantaire had a wonderful day out at the museum. It was all worth Enjolras feeling out of sorts and worried for the day.  
They had a celebration a few days later when all the offers for joint projects with other organisations and other interviews came pouring in. A house party with only their closest friends. Courfeyrac was the guest of honour and he lapped it up like usual. And as the night got later and people got drunker, everything got calmer and more intimate like it usually did for them.

Enjolras had a few drinks himself through the night, feeling very tipsy when the party really started to wind down. He sat down next to Grantaire on the sofa and leant against him, letting Grantaire’s voice as he talked to Bahorel soothe him. And when they stopped talking and Bahorel moved away, Enjolras turned to Grantaire to talk to him. But Grantaire was looking past Enjolras, to the chair right beside the armchair when Eponine and Montparnasse were making out. And there was a look on his face – one of those guarded looks that Enjolras always struggled to identify on Grantaire. He figured it must be something like desire or want or jealousy though, given how people had told him Grantaire would probably want Enjolras to be more affectionate.

Was Grantaire looking at them because he wanted to do that with Enjolras in front of all of their friends? They did it a lot by themselves at home, making out in bed or on the sofa or up leaning on the counters in the kitchen or pressed up against the wall in the hall. But they didn’t do it in front of their friends. Because Enjolras didn’t really want to. But Grantaire probably did.

Enjolras’ body moved before his brain could catch up, hindered by alcohol the way it was. He put his hand on Grantaire’s cheek and turned his face so he could easily press their lips together. Grantaire was still for a moment, obviously from shock at Enjolras’ sudden forwardness, but then he kissed back gently. He pulled away after only a few moments, but Enjolras chased his lips, pressing a harder, more deliberate kiss to them this time. Grantaire allowed it, but pulled back quickly again with a chuckle and pressing one kiss to Enjolras’ cheek for putting some space between them.

“How much have you had to drink?” He asked, his eyes soft and his smile fond. It made Enjolras feel loved and special and everything good when Grantaire looked at him like that.

“We should make out.” Enjolras told him as surely as he could and leaned in again. He wanted to make Grantaire feel as loved and special as well. But Grantaire stopped him, his fond smile slipping into a worried little frown.

“Okay, definitely too much alcohol. Maybe we should call it a night and go home.” His words suggested it was up to discussion, but as soon as he finished talking, Grantaire was already pulling his and Enjolras’ jacket off the back of the couch.

“But, making out.” Enjolras protested with a pout, too tipsy to worry about how feeble an argument it was and how ridiculous it made him sound. Grantaire lips pulled up into that fond smile again though as he bundled Enjolras into his coat.

“We can make out at home if you really want to. You’ll just regret it in the morning if we do it here.” Grantaire was right. Enjolras would regret it. He would feel awkward, having so many people see him and Grantaire make out. Having them see him so open and vulnerable. But he still wanted to though, if that was what Grantaire wanted to do.

They didn’t make out at the house party though. Instead they left with a cheery goodbye to Combeferre and went home.

-x-

Marius and Cosette’s wedding was a ridiculous affair. It was pompous and extravagant and Enjolras was sure the money they spent on the 5 course meal at the reception could feed a family for a year. But he stayed quiet and let Marius and Cosette enjoy their day. Though he would be having words with Marius about the ridiculousness of spending so much at a later point in time. Marius had asked Grantaire to be one of his groomsmen, and Cosette asked Enjolras to be her ring-bearer, so the two hardly saw each other during the whole event. They were on separate sides in the Church, and weren’t even allowed to sit together for the meal because the overwhelmingly expensive wedding planner had arranged it so each party sat at a different end of the head table with the bride and groom in the middle. And Enjolras didn’t complain about that either, because it was Marius and Cosette’s day. Though he did miss Grantaire terribly.

It was only after the meal when the party part of the reception began that he was finally able to interact and move as he pleased. He was able to spend time with Grantaire, congratulate Marius properly, and speak to his friends who had been on the other side of the wedding party divide.

“You know Grantaire cried.” Courfeyrac told a little group of them, earning laughs from everyone and a resigned sigh of Grantaire.

“Do you have to tell everyone?” He asked with a put-upon whine and everyone else just laughed harder. Grantaire shook his head. “Fine. I’m going to get a drink and talk to some people who aren’t really mean.” He stood and pressed a kiss to Enjolras’ cheek before heading off to the bar, where Bahorel was flirting with the bartender.

“He cries at every wedding we go to.” Joly sad when he was gone, still chuckling himself.

“He’d definitely cry at his own wedding.” Musichetta told them, though she didn’t seem all that amused. “If he ever had one, that is.”

All the laughing faded off with that comment, and Enjolras shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Musichetta didn’t sound accusatory or harsh, just like every other time she brought something like this up. She just sounded rational, logical, and only a little sad. Enjolras appreciated that, but he still felt like he was being accused, like he was being pinned by her comments and how she had known Grantaire for so much longer.

“Come on, Chetta.” Bossuet said gently, reaching to grasp her forearm.

“No.” She shook of his hand but looked only at Enjolras. “He wants to get married. He wants to get married to you.” She sounded so sincere, so gentle, now and that was in a way worse than if she had spoken harshly to him.

“Just not now. Not here.” Bossuet tried again. And Musichetta gave Enjolras one more meaningful look before she nodded and dropped the topic.

Later, Enjolras had felt moved by the atmosphere, by being around his friends and having them all happy, and agreed to dance with Grantaire. Only for a slow song though, because then he didn’t have to move too much. Grantaire had smiled wide and bright anyway and dragged him to the dancefloor at the next slow song. And Enjolras let himself be dragged, easily looping his arms around Grantaire’s waist when they were on the floor.

“I really love you, you know?” Grantaire said softly into his ear. Oh, Enjolras knew. Grantaire made sure Enjolras knew. He told him all the time, and even though he said it so often, it always was as serious and meant just as much every time.

Enjolras nodded. “I know. And I love you too.”

“Good. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Enjolras swallowed hard at the words. It wasn’t the first time Grantaire had expressed the sentiment, but with Musichetta’s words hanging in his mind, it seemed to mean something different than it had before.

-x-

They had an argument. A silly, ridiculous, blown out of proportion argument over the damn phone charger of all things.

With phones from the same company it seemed simple to just share a charger rather than bothering to buy two, and so that’s what they did. It stayed in the house unless they both went away, and Enjolras and Grantaire both used it whenever they needed to. They had never had any problem with it before. But one of them moved it – Enjolras was sure it was Grantaire, Grantaire was sure it was Enjolras – and it was lost for almost a week.

It was found, but they spent the week snapping at each other and getting worked up by anything and everything, and even with the original source of their argument fixed, a tension and hostility remained between them.

It worried Enjolras more than anything else had over the past few months and he was honestly scared their relationship was going to fall apart. He asked all of their friends for advice, and got a crazy range of different opinions.

“Just fight it out again. Sometimes a good argument can do the world of good.” Feuilly had told him.

“Make-up Sex.” Bahorel had said with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrow.

“Maybe there’s nothing you can do. Maybe you just have to wait and see if your relationship is meant to survive.” Prouvaire had suggested sadly, patting Enjolras’ hand gently.

“A grand gesture is what you need. Do something big to show him that you love him and you’re committed to the relationship and making it work.” Courfeyrac told him, before going on to come up with increasingly ridiculous examples of what Enjolras’ grand gesture could be. But Enjolras stopped listening, because he already had an idea of what his grand gesture could be.

He went straight to town, buying what he needed without hesitation – even though it was an awful lot of money – and headed home. Grantaire was there already, curled up on the sofa watching t.v. His eyes flicked to Enjolras as he came, but turned straight back to the t.v. The lack of greeting or smile or even recognition beyond that one look hurt Enjolras, and suggested to him an awful future fi he didn’t fix the tension between them now and if he didn’t make this relationship more of what Grantaire wanted.

“I need to talk to you.” He said immediately. He wasn’t going to wait and let his doubt or worry wriggle into his mind and make him not do this. He had to get it down. He threw his coat and keys onto the table, grabbing the velvet box from his pocket. Grantaire muted the t.v. and sat up on the sofa, expression defiant and mouth open ready to protest, and Enjolras fell onto one knee in front of him and opened the ring box.

Grantaire’s mouth fell open further and his face filled with confusion and shock. He stared straight at the ring as though he had never seen one before, and Enjolras realised belatedly – after he had already been down on one knee for a good 30 seconds – that there was something he was meant to say.

“Will you marry me?” He asked awkwardly. He had already messed up the proposal, and he was worried Grantaire was going to still be too mad at him, but more than all of that it didn’t really feel right either.

He didn’t have a problem with the concept of marriage in general, but he did have a problem with a lot of aspects of marriage, and right then, down on one knee and proposing to the man he loved, he knew marriage was definitely not for him.

He didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want to enter into a union in an institution as heavily flawed as marriage was. He had no problem if other people chose to do so, but he didn’t want to himself, and now he was definitely sure of that. Even if it was with Grantaire – the person he loved most in the world and the person he wanted to be committed to for the rest of his life – he didn’t want to get married. But he had to.

He had already proposed – getting down on one knee and buying the horrifyingly expensive ring – and he couldn’t exactly take it back. And he knew he shouldn’t take it back. Everyone had told him and he had seen himself that Grantaire wanted to get married, Grantaire wanted to marry him, and Enjolras had to be able to give that to him. Even if it did just feel wrong.

“Holy hell, you’re proposing to me.” Grantaire said quietly, face still full of shock. Enjolras couldn’t tell if it was happy shock or not, he couldn’t tell is the expletive was from joy or from something else. “You just asked me to marry you.”

“Yeah, I did.” Enjolras said carefully. Did Grantaire just need time to process it? Because Enjolras was sure he would have just said yes straight away if he was over being angry with Enjolras or no just as quickly if he was still mad. Enjolras had not expected any hesitation or confusion like this.

“Why?” Grantaire asked, and he really was very confused. Enjolras could see it in his wide eyes and raised eyebrows and down-turned mouth.

“So we can get married.” Enjolras answered hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what answer Grantaire was looking for, or what answer would make it seem like he actually wanted to get married, without being a full-fledged lie. Being down on one knee was uncomfortable and awkward, so she shifted so he was kneeling with both knees on the floor, and was surprised himself when Grantaire slid off the sofa to kneel beside him.

“You want to get married?” He asked and there was no accusation or suspicion in the question, which told Enjolras that Grantaire honestly had no idea why Enjolras would be proposing. He worried that he may have made it too obvious before that it wasn’t something he wanted at all.

“You do.” He said seriously. He couldn’t lie and say he did, but he hoped it was enough that he knew Grantaire wanted to get married.

Grantaire sighed and Enjolras knew it wasn’t enough. “You’re an absolute idiot.”

“I am not.” Enjolras protested instinctively. “I know you want to get married. It’s clear you do, you love weddings and Musichetta said when you were younger all you wanted was to be married.”

“Yep, an absolute idiot.” Grantaire was smiling and his eyes were crinkling with amusement and Enjolras didn’t get why. “I love weddings because they’re beautiful and romantic, and I don’t want to get married, I want to be in love and committed to someone. When I was younger, I just understood that as marriage, but now I know there’s plenty of other ways of being committed to someone. I know you don’t have to get married, that a relationship can be just as strong without the people involved being married. You taught me that.”

Grantaire gave him a gentle smile and then a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don’t need marriage to get that. Right?”

There was a sliver of doubt in the question in his words, the hint of that old insecurity Grantaire had in their relationship and Enjolras’ feelings for him, and Enjolras wanted to stamp that down straight away. “Of course not. I love you and we’re going to be together no matter what.”

Grantaire beamed. “Good. Now why the hell did you think you had to propose to me when you didn’t want to get married?”

Enjolras felt ridiculous explaining himself and his thought process. But it wasn’t that hard with Grantaire. There was no judgement, no mockery, just support and understanding. And Enjolras told him everything, from the first moments doubt entered his mind, to when he began to try change to make the relationship better for Grantaire, to his decision to propose to fix the argument and to let Grantaire have what Enjolras though he wanted.

"Chrsit, 'Jolras." Grantaire said, his voice full of exasperation but he had that fond smile on his face again. He shifted off his knees and sat down on the floor, leaning back against the front of the couch. "You always find ways to make things more difficult for yourself, don't you?" He opened his arms and beckoned Enjolras closer.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Enjolras asked, prickling at the comments. Grantaire could always easily get under his skin with only something that little. His body was screaming to go with the beckon and curl up in as well.

Grantaire rolled his eyes and dropped his arms. "If I had a problem with our relationship, I would fucking tell you. I've told you plenty of times before - like when you forgot Valentine's Day. Or when you didn't talk to me about problems. You know, like now." He gave a crooked smile and opened his arms again. Enjolras went with the beckon this time, and curled up in his boyfriend's arms.

"I'm sorry." Enjolras mumbled into Grantaire's chest, feeling embarrassed and like a fool. For doubting Grantaire's independence in the relationship, for pushing himself into doing something he really didn't want to, for creating a problem in his relationship in the end even though he was trying to fix one.

"Just talk to me next time okay." Grantaire said back, and Enjolras felt his hand begin to stroke his hair. "I don't need you to selfishly change yourself. I like you exactly the way you are."

Enjolras felt such a strong wave of relief at those words. After the stress and worry of the past few months, just hearing Grantaire say those words was enough to ease the tight knot that had clamped in his chest. He trusted Grantaire completely and just hearing him saying the words helped immensely. Enjolras couldn't understand now why he didn't just talk to Grantaire before when he first started doubting. After the fat, it seemed like a logical decision, even if at the time it was the furthest thing from Enjolras' mind.

"I like you too." Enjolras said quietly, and he felt and heard Grantaire chuckle. Enjolras pushed himself up so he could look Grantaire in the eye. "I don't want to get married."

Grantaire chuckled again. "Well, that's pretty obvious."

Enjolras frowned, but carried on. "I don't want to get married, but I don't want to be with anyone else or every be without you. I'm not interested in the institution of marriage, but I am interested in the principle and the commitment behind it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Grantaire kissed him at first rather than responding. It was slow and soft and delicate and yet Enjolras felt every emotion Grantaire was feeling through it.

"I do." Grantaire said when he pulled away with a cheeky grin on his face, and Enjolras sighed and gently whacked him. But he felt light and warm inside and he giggled himself at it.


End file.
